Willy Marello

Year: 2018

Height: 5’9″

Weight: 155

Hometown: Pittsford, NY

HS: Pittsford Sutherland

 

2015-2016:

Sat in the Varsity for the entirety of the spring season. Also rowed in the Varsity at Princeton Chase during the fall.

 

About:

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous piano playing. Using a hoe and a large glass of water I single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of angry fire ants. I bake 30-minute brownies in 20. I hurl tennis racquets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I know the exact location of every item in the supermarket. On weekends I participate in full contact origami. But I have yet to row at IRA or Eastern Sprints Regatta.